Title: Public Timeline
By: sabinelagrande/sabinetzin and arymabeth
Summary: @dr_dr_mckay is stuck in a jumper at the bottom of the ocean & needs your help! Please RT!!
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis/Stargate: SG-1
Word Count: ~2000
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, language, incredible silliness, spoilers for Grace Under Pressure, total crack
Pairing: A whole lot of them, in sort of a slapsticky way, but mostly Weir/Caldwell, Lorne/Zelenka, one-sided McKay/Carter, O'Neill/Carter, Vala/Daniel, and a little McShep for flavor
A/N: So there are a couple of nu!Trek fics going around that immortalize the Enterprise crew's Twitter feeds. So we were talking about it, and arymabeth went "They so use twitter at the SGC" and I went, "Dude, what if they were on twitter during Grace Under Pressure". And, lo, this happened. And we do not apologize for it at all.

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dr_dr_mckay: is returning from the mainland, safe and sound, ho hum
About five hours ago from Jumper 6

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dr_dr_mckay: oh shit
About five hours ago from Jumper 6

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l_griffin: MAYDAY!! PLEASE RT
About five hours ago from Jumper 6

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j_shep: RT @l_griffin MAYDAY!! PLEASE RT
About five hours ago from Atlantis

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scot_carson: @j_shep you know, maybe this twitter thing's gotten out of hand
About five hours ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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dr_dr_mckay: sinking into ocean, SEND HELP!!!!!!
About five hours ago from tablet

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dr_radek: @dr_dr_mckay are you reading this?? answer goddamn you
About four hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @dr_radek what the hell do you want?
About four hours ago from tablet

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dr_radek: @dr_dr_mckay URGENT DM coordinates to me plz
About four hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: is anybody reading? I keep getting the fail whale every time I try to reload
About four hours ago from tablet

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay we read you, hang in there
About four hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_radek: Anyone up for exciting rescue? come to jumper bay #mckayrescue
About four hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: Hello? @ reply if you get this
About four hours ago from tablet

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liz_weir: @dr_dr_mckay Rodney, we read you
About four hours ago from Atlantis

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r_mcnabb: @dr_radek @j_shep I has a grapple =D u has tether? #mckayrescue
About four hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_radek: @r_mcnabb @dr_simpson @mikoneko we narrow search area? yes? #mckayrescue
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: GOD WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE
About three hours ago from tablet

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j_shep: @dr_radek you want sea monster?
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: I'M LOSING BLOOD
About three hours ago from tablet

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dr_dr_mckay: #FOLLOWFRIDAY @dr_dr_mckay 'S RADIO SIGNAL
About three hours ago from tablet

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter FINALLY someone answers
About three hours ago from tablet

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sgcarter: @dr_dr_mckay ??
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter so, you come here often?
About three hours ago from tablet

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter you want to?
About three hours ago from tablet

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sgoneill: @dr_dr_mckay how'd you like to make that visit down there permanent?
About three hours ago from Washington in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter did you just hear something?
About three hours ago from tablet

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sgcarter: @sgoneill Sir, I don't think he's getting your tweets
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to sgoneill

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sgoneill: @sgcarter @dr_dr_mckay can you tweet a foot to an ass?
About three hours ago from Washington in reply to sgcarter

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djackson: @sgcarter @sgoneill @dr_dr_mckay I think tweetdeck has an addon for that
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to sgoneill

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genlandry: what the hell do i pay you people for
About three hours ago from SGC

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genlandry: shit, i try again: @sgcarter @sgoneill @djackson what the hell do i pay you people for
About three hours ago from SGC

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vala_md: @genlandry ... we get paid? hot damn!
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to genlandry

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specialistdex: @genlandry go on and send that back pay any time
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to genlandry

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teyla_e: @genlandry @specialistdex In what form of currency is this pay?
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to genlandry

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sgoneill: @genlandry Actually, I pay you
About three hours ago from Washington in reply to genlandry

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djackson: @sgoneill God help us all
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to sgoneill

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liz_weir: @specialistdex @teyla_e @genlandry If we could please get back to the rescue?
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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specialistdex: @liz_weir @teyla_e sure. point where you want me to shoot
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to liz_weir

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liz_weir: So you get back on Tuesday? Well, I can think of a couple good things to do with that captain's chair
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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liz_weir: Uh, sorry everyone, that was meant to be a DM to @col_steven
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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j_shep: @liz_weir we know. we were going to pretend it didn't happen
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to liz_weir

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sgcarter: @liz_weir @col_steven …
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to liz_weir

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dr_radek: is in his room if anyone needs him
About three hours ago from Atlantis

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lorne: @dr_radek need any help in there?
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_radek

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dr_radek: @lorne yes, plz. I have, er, troubles.
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to lorne

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lorne: @dr_radek be right there to help with ... that Ancient device, of course
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_radek

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j_shep: @dr_radek @lorne Guys? Rescue? McKay? Sinking into ocean? Any bells?
About three hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_radek

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter WHY ARE YOU NOT NAKED
About three hours ago from tablet

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sgoneill: @col_steven Turn around. I got shit to do in Pegasus.
About three hours ago from Washington

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sgcarter: @genlandry Permission to block @dr_dr_mckay, sir?
About three hours ago from SGC

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genlandry: which one is the block button
About three hours ago from SGC

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genlandry: sh!t
About three hours ago from SGC

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genlandry: @djackson which one is the block button
About three hours ago from SGC

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walter: @genlandry The one that says block, sir.
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to genlandry

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djackson: @genlandry Just tell her it's okay.
About three hours ago from SGC in reply to genlandry

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genlandry: @sgcarter there i blocked mckay, see how it works now
About three hours ago from SGC

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sgcarter: @genlandry You know what? I think I'll just deal with it.
About three hours ago from SGC

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j_shep: @sgcarter @dr_dr_mckay I don't even want to know
About two hours ago from Atlantis

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jaffa_nation: RT @teal_c: Today's Kel'no'reem Tip: Try scented candles for a more relaxing atmosphere
About two hours ago from Chulak

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dr_dr_mckay: @GIANT WHALE OUTSIDE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME
About two hours ago from tablet

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dr_radek: @dr_dr_mckay rodney, twitter does not work that way
About two hours ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter YOU'RE OUT TO GET ME
About two hours ago from tablet

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drheightmeyer: @dr_dr_mckay I'm moving up your next appointment.
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: haven't been getting tweets from anybody but @sgcarter since crash, WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE
About two hours ago from tablet

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liz_weir: @drheightmeyer If you could go ahead and book appointments for all senior staff, that would be great. #seniorstaff
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to drheightmeyer

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scot_carson: @liz_weir @drheightmeyer I haven't done anything!
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to liz_weir

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liz_weir: @drheightmeyer And these are mandatory. #seniorstaff
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to drheightmeyer

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j_shep: @drheightmeyer Did I tell you about that dream I had where Rodney was sinking in a jumper, and nobody cared? #mckayrescue
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to drheightmeyer

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dr_dr_mckay: trying for liftoff from ocean bottom, no matter what @sgcarter says #stuckinjumper2electricboogaloo
About two hours ago from tablet

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teyla_e: @j_shep I care deeply, John, but it seems I was excluded from this briefing.
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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j_shep: @teyla_e http://tinyurl.com/6kx8y
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to teyla_e

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specialistdex: @teyla_e @j_shep rotflmao
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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teyla_e: @j_shep When this matter is concluded, I will see you for bantos practice.
About two hours ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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j_shep: @dr_radek so, how about that submarine ride I promised? #mckayrescue
About an hour ago from Atlantis

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dr_radek: @j_shep http://iz.gd/394s15
About an hour ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter FUCK YOU AND YOUR PHYSICS
About an hour ago from tablet

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vala_md: @sgcarter He's got you there.
About an hour ago from SGC

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djackson: @vala_md Why are you following @dr_dr_mckay, anyway?
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to vala_md

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vala_md: @djackson i follow everyone. i like to make them feel included
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to djackson

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djackson: @vala_md >[
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to vala_md

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genlandry: @vala_md if you're that bored, i can think of a few things that need doing around here
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to vala_md

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walter: @vala_md PLEASE say you're that bored
About an hour ago from SGC

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walter: is browsing on USAJobs. Again.
About an hour ago from SGC

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djackson: @genlandry @walter she's that bored. and that annoying. please.
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to genlandry

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vala_md: @djackson Oh, you're no fun anymore. Am I going to have to get the rope?
About an hour ago from SGC in reply to djackson

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j_shep: well i'm glad everyone's having SO MUCH FUN
About an hour ago from Jumper 8

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sgoneill: @vala_md @djackson http://i43.tinypic.com/i5y6hj.jpg
59 minutes ago from Washington

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specialistdex: @sgoneill can i get in on that?
56 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to sgoneill

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sgoneill: @specialistdex ::passes bag::
55 minutes ago from Washington in reply to specialistdex

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j_shep: is updating his USAJobs resume as soon as he gets back. Thanks, @walter!
50 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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dr_radek: @j_shep oh shut up and activate shield
49 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to j_shep

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter so cold
49 minutes ago from tablet

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter you could warm me up?
48 minutes ago from tablet

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter oh, forget it, you're a crappy hallucination anyway
44 minutes ago from tablet

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col_steven: @liz_weir @genlandry Daedalus commandeered by O'Neill, returning to Atlantis. Suggest hiding Dr. McKay if recovered.
43 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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liz_weir: @col_steven =D
42 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to col_steven

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specialistdex: @liz_weir did you just send him a dick?
41 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to liz_weir

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col_steven: @chuck Will you show her how to DM again?
41 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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chuck: *facepalm*
40 minutes ago from Atlantis

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay can you hear me now?
39 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter shut up! I hear something!
38 minutes ago from tablet

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dr_radek: @j_shep srsly? Americans and the damned television
38 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to j_shep

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j_shep: @dr_radek STFU AND EXTEND THE SHIELD
38 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_radek

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter YOU CANNOT TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT
37 minutes ago from tablet

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scot_carson: @j_shep don't let him fall asleep in the jumper
37 minutes ago from Atlantis

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter YEAH BUT WHAT IF HE'S IMAGINARY
36 minutes ago from tablet

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay Rodney open the goddamned door
36 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay I swear to God, I'll leave your ass down here with the whale
36 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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dr_radek: @j_shep Leave him. I take his quarters. Need bigger bathtub. For... reasons.
35 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to j_shep

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lorne: @dr_radek @j_shep I mean, if he doesn't want to come...
35 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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sgoneill: @dr_radek @lorne @j_shep http://i42.tinypic.com/294t1f7.jpg
34 minutes ago from USS Daedalus in reply to dr_radek

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sgcarter: @dr_radek @sgoneill @lorne @j_shep DAMMIT YOU GUYS
34 minutes ago from SGC in reply to sgoneill

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sgcarter: @j_shep I will never sleep soundly again if you leave him down there with his fantasy of me
34 minutes ago from SGC in reply to j_shep

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dr_dr_mckay: @j_shep IF YOU'RE NOT IMAGINARY, I'M OPENING UP
33 minutes ago from tablet

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chuck: @dr_dr_mckay @j_shep that's what she said. OH!
33 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_radek: @dr_dr_mckay whale says hi
33 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @j_shep @dr_radek WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN
32 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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dr_dr_mckay: @sgcarter bye :(
32 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay oh, I'm sorry I didn't just throw on my swim trunks and backstroke ALL THE WAY THE FUCK DOWN HERE
30 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @j_shep COULD WE DISCUSS THIS WHEN I DON'T HAVE THE BENDS
29 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to j_shep

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specialistdex: @dr_dr_mckay is that like the trots?
28 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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j_shep: @specialistdex in the horribleness factor? yes
27 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to specialistdex

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dr_dr_mckay: @specialistdex You filthy caveman.
26 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to specialistdex

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dr_dr_mckay: ....... wait, shit, have my tweets been going through down here?
24 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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col_steven: *facepalm*
24 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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sgcarter: @dr_dr_mckay YES
24 minutes ago from SGC in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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chuck: *screencap'd!*
24 minutes ago from Atlantis

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lorne: @chuck e-mail?
23 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to chuck

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dr_dr_mckay: @genlandry Am I fired?
23 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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sgoneill: @dr_dr_mckay into the sun? yes.
22 minutes ago from USS Daedalus in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay Relax, i think he's still got you blocked
21 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay on the other hand, @sgoneill 's been reading you loud and clear
20 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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liz_weir: @lorne Security detail to the infirmary, please.
19 minutes ago from Atlantis

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dr_radek: @scot_carson mckay is attempting to escape, we sedate him, yes?
18 minutes ago from Jumper 8

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sgoneill: @col_steven CAN'T THIS BUCKET GO ANY FASTER
17 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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hermiod: @sgoneill Increasing speed at this juncture would be highly inadvisable due to stress on the hyperdrive. I could attempt to gain additional …
17 minutes ago from USS Daedalus in reply to sgoneill

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col_steven: @majormarks Can you make him go away for a while?
15 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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majormarks: @col_steven which one, sir?
15 minutes ago from USS Daedalus in reply to col_steven

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col_steven: @majormarks I'm not picky.
15 minutes ago from USS Daedalus in reply to majormarks

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j_shep: @dr_dr_mckay thank god you're okay, baby
14 minutes ago from Jumper 8 in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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col_steven: DAMMIT PEOPLE SENDING DMs IS NOT HARD
14 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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liz_weir: I can think of something that's gonna be
14 minutes ago from Atlantis

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col_steven: *headconsole*
13 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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specialistdex: @col_steven hey, but it makes our lives a hell of a lot more entertaining
13 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to col_steven

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col_steven: hates everyone
12 minutes ago from USS Daedalus

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teyla_e: http://i43.tinypic.com/i5y6hj.jpg
11 minutes ago from Atlantis

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j_shep: @teyla_e that better not be out of my stash
10 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to teyla_e

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teyla_e: @j_shep I believe that the phrase is "finders keepers, losers weepers"
9 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to j_shep

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jaffa_nation: To learn more about Tau'ri phrases, attend our instructional seminar next month!
8 minutes ago from Chulak

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lorne: @teyla_e share? ::puppy eyes::
7 minutes ago from Atlantis in reply to teyla_e

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h_of_t: @genlandry What the hell is going on down there?
6 minutes ago from Texas

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genlandry: i don't even know, sir. i told you these newfangled things would cause trouble
4 minutes ago from SGC

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scot_carson: @nursemarie @j_kel Prepare the infirmary if you would, loves, and mind you don't upset the security team
3 minutes ago from Atlantis

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dr_bill_lee: Twitter will be down for approx. 1 hour at 1900 Zulu for server upgrades. Please plan accordingly. #maintenance
2 minutes ago from SGC

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dr_dr_mckay: THANK GOD
2 minutes ago from tablet

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scot_carson: @dr_dr_mckay Give me that thing right now
1 minute ago from Atlantis in reply to dr_dr_mckay

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dr_dr_mckay: @scot_carson you petty tyrlksa;s
1 minute ago from tablet in reply to scot_carson

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nursemarie: @scot_carson Don't worry, the morphine is in. He'll forgive you
45 seconds ago from Atlantis

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scot_carson: @lorne Could you please escort @j_shep - why am I doing this? you're standing right next to me
15 seconds ago from Atlantis

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liz_weir: @scot_carson Oddly addicting, isn't it?
1 second ago from Atlantis in reply to scot_carson

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