Summary: John has no use for Rodney when he's happy.
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 500
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, bastard!John
Pairing: John/Keller, one-sided John/Rodney UST
A/N: Written for Oxoniensis's Porn Battle VII. Title comes from the old adage: If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
John has no use for Rodney when he's happy.
Yeah, if he were a good person, he'd want all his friends to be happy all the time, but John's not a good person, never has been. And it's not like Rodney's actually happy- he's just getting laid. It's not John's fault if Rodney never learned the difference. And as soon as Keller stops fucking him, Rodney's going to be embarrassed at the way he's been acting, pulling out chairs and pretending to be so fucking positive about everything whenever Keller's around. It turns John's stomach; he isn't going to let Rodney keep making a fool of himself like this.
Fortunately, though, he has a plan. It's a good plan- it certainly worked on Norina and any other number of alien chicks who gave Rodney the eye. He thought he was going to have to try it on Katie Brown there for a little bit, but Rodney ended up fucking that one up on his own.
As he knocks on Keller's door, John realizes that he scares himself sometimes; he pushes that thought down as much as he can. This is all to help Rodney out- isn't that what friends are supposed to do for each other?
Keller doesn't protest when he kisses her, fierce yet tentative, like he's holding himself back only with great difficulty. It's fucking predictable after that- the way she pulls him back in, looking at her grip on his arm like she can't believe what she's doing. She reaches up to his face, pulling him down roughly to kiss him, like she can't stop herself. He takes care to move his hands over her like he's touching something sacred, like he's completely amazed what he's being allowed.
She's actually a pretty good fuck- probably spectacular compared to what Rodney's had. Keller wraps her legs around his waist, her heels digging into the small of his back. He keeps repeating her first name as he fucks her, kissing her neck and shoulders gently.
He makes sure she comes first, rubbing at her clit and watching as her head falls back, and Rodney's name spills out of her open lips.
John drives his hips forward, suddenly desperate, and comes inside her.
“We can't tell Rodney,” John tells her afterward, and he makes sure to look hurt and miserable when he says it.
“Never,” Keller swears, setting her mouth in a sad little moue and looking like she's going to cry- and John knows that he's won.
There's a knock on his door at three o'clock in the morning, and he already knows who it's going to be.
“She dumped me,” Rodney says, his voice broken and soft, with just a touch of amazement that is just so him- the real him, not this cheap facsimile John's had to put up with these past months.
“Come on in, buddy,” John tells him, clapping him on the back and steering him towards the bed. “You want a beer?”