Summary: -and by the end, things work out for the-
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 739
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, wtfery
Pairing: Rodney/Radek, John/Rodney/Radek
A/N: Written for Oxoniensis's Porn Battle VII. Profuse apologies to Richard O'Brien and Matt Groening.
-and Rodney comes inside Radek.
He looks down at the man underneath him, his brow furrowed in confusion. Radek is looking around suspiciously, like he's waiting for someone to pop out and tell him he's on Candid Camera. Rodney feels a little old just thinking that; maybe Radek thinks he's been Punk'd.
Rodney can't think of anything to say. “I don't remember how I got here,” he blurts, “and I don't mean that in a philosophical way, like I don't understand how the choices I've made in my life have brought me to this point.”
“I knew what you meant,” Radek says, pushing his glasses up with one finger. “Perhaps this is not a conversation we should have while-”
-Radek strokes the back of his head.
Radek's cock is in his mouth, and Rodney doesn't know how he feels about that. It seems terrifically rude just to leave him hanging, though, especially when he's apparently just let Rodney fuck him- and it's not like he's never blown anybody before.
He gives the underside of the shaft a few of slow, dragging licks before he starts sucking, bobbing his head up and down only a couple of times before Radek comes. He swallows what he can, wiping away the excess with the back of his hand.
“Thank you,” Radek sighs happily. “Now, about the-”
“Yes, yes, the time thing,” he replies, looking around for any sign of his clothing.
“Either something is causing time to skip forward,” Radek says, snorting at the idea, “or something is messing with our ability to perceive it.”
Rodney snaps his fingers. “Didn't this happen on-”
-he and Radek are sitting on the couch as the credits roll.
“Bender's Game?” Rodney says, reading the DVD case. “I haven't even watched the first one yet!”
“At least we are not naked still,” Radek says, hitting the stop button on the remote.
He frowns. “I don't understand why we sat down and watched a movie instead of going to fix the problem. That doesn't seem like us.”
“Something is affecting our judgment,” Radek agrees. “We need to get down to the lab before we-”
-Radek throws him up against the wall of the transporter, kissing him so hard that Rodney swears he'll bruise.
“It's happening faster,” Radek says, pulling his face away, and Rodney stares at him for a second before he remembers what he's doing.
He activates the transporter, pushing Radek out when they arrive. He takes off at a run for his lab, Radek right at his heels, and he's halfway-
-Rodney is on top of him, right in the middle of the hallway, grinding himself against Radek.
“Oh god, what the hell?” Sheppard shouts, clapping his hands over his eyes. “How did I get here and what are you doing?”
“No time!” Radek responds, standing up and running.
“Explanations later!” Rodney adds, rolling to his feet. He's vaguely aware that Sheppard's following him, but he finally makes it into the lab-
-Sheppard and Radek are making out right in front of him.
“Holy shit, that's hot,” Rodney says, and they both look at him. Then they look at each other, and Rodney knows he's got to work quickly or risk wasting this whole window on somebody's hetero freak out.
“Look, we don't know what happened,” he says, snatching up the small metal cube that must be the culprit, “it must be something that-”
-he's holding the device still, but now he's in between the two of them, Sheppard grinding himself against Rodney's ass as Radek sucks at his neck.
He brandishes the little box at Sheppard. “Fucking take this and think it off!” he-
-Radek is on his knees in front of him, opening his fly.
Rodney pulls Sheppard's hand out of his pants and slaps the device into it.
“Thank god,” Rodney says, slumping in relief. “Take that thing and have Ronon shoot it,” he tells Sheppard; he nods and all but flees the lab.
Radek stands up, picking his shirt up off the table and pulling it back on. They stare at each other awkwardly for a long moment.
“We could go back to your room,” Radek says finally.
“Exactly what I was thinking.”
Radek's grin is only a little evil. “We could also call the Colonel.”
Rodney waves a dismissive hand. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Plenty of time for that later.”