The Midnight Rider (sabinelagrande) wrote,
The Midnight Rider

Fic Roundup: Porn Battle VII

Holy Jesus Goddamn, y'all.

Unless otherwise noted, all stories are NC-17. That means they contain fucking and swearing. You have been warned.

you will be my one last chance, Iron Man/Stargate Atlantis, Tony Stark/John Sheppard, crash-landing; 877 words
Yes, there will be a sequel. At least two, actually. This was the third version of this plot that I tried, but once I hit on it, it was just so obvious the way the two verses should fit together.

The LSA Does Not Approve, Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1, Teyla Emmagan/Daniel Jackson, rituals; 658 words, rated R
I amuse the shit out of myself. The funniest part to me is that the LSA really is revising its ethics statement this year- but Daniel's three months late submitting his comments (I turned mine in on time). The draft statement actually doesn't say anything about sexual relations with informants, either, though it does say you can't fuck your grad students. Oh well.

The Anonymity Caveat, Big Bang Theory/Stargate Atlantis, Sheldon Cooper/Rodney McKay, conference, method; 352 words
My original plan was to throw Sheldon into SGA; the story opened with the ATL science team getting drunk and arguing about who was the bigger ass. It ended up not working, because I couldn't get to the porn from there (though Katie Brown had some really great lines I was sad to let go). So, instead, I threw Rodney into TBBT, and here we are. I can't believe I've written this pairing twice now.

Stargate Atlantis:

Paper Planes (criminal AU):
All I Wanna Do Is; 2839 words, originally posted in four parts:

And Take Your Money, John/Ronon, alternate
I was gonna just leave it at that, but then I started wondering about where in the world those cookies came from, and also I wanted to write Rodney/Teyla, which led me to...

Like UPS Trucks, Rodney/Teyla, relax, learn, treat, tea
...which makes Rodney's lines in the previous installment retroactively hilarious. God, I love this pairing. It is my secret het OTP.

Swagger Like Us, John/Rodney/Ronon, soap, honesty
It should be manifest by this point that I am pretty much incapable of writing John as anything but slutty, confused, or fucking evil. Also, I had possibly too much fun slowly turning Rodney gay.

And Some I Let Go, John/Rodney/Ronon/Teyla, disappear
I sort of wanted it to have a happy ending, but then I realized that I was basically ripping off The Best Things in Life Are Free. Also, I thought of the last two lines and just couldn't let them go, because I find the idea so inexplicably hilarious.


The Edge of a Knife, Todd/Teyla, queens and pawns; 256 words
I would like to apologize to... everybody for writing Wraith sex.

Repeat Until Caught, John/Jennifer, dark and twisty; 500 words, also contains one-sided John/Rodney UST
I may have to write proper commentary for this story, because it's really close to my heart. I just feel so very sorry for poor Rodney, and also Jennifer, but especially John.

Time Enough, Radek/Elizabeth, loyalty; 529 words
I have this thing for writing Weir/Zelenka where Weir is very bitter and sad and Zelenka is not. Also, it still weirds me out to write porn about someone called Elizabeth, because I alternately think I'm writing about gunstreet_girl or myself.

Sure Worked for Catwoman, John/Rodney, pheromone; 492 words
Have I not said that this world needs post-Irresistible dubcon? And here it is.

Trophic Dynamics, John/Richard, formality; 378 words
I wrote this for the sheer challenge of the pairing, but I kinda like how it turned out. I just couldn't write straight up and down slash with Woolsey in it, because I couldn't picture him as anything but mortified by the idea- not of being with a dude, but of fucking in general.

But It's the Pelvic Thrust, Radek/Rodney, urgency; 739 words, also contains John/Rodney/Radek
I love this fic. I'm not usually my biggest fan or anything, but I just really love this story. This was like the eleventh or twelfth story I wrote, and I was thinking, "Damn, all porn has exactly the same story progression," and then I thought, "No shit, Sabine, that's because all fucking has the same progression," and then I responded "NOT WITH SCIENCE IT DON'T" and that shut me up pretty good. Originally it was straight up Rodney/Radek where they were just unstuck in time, but this was a whole lot more fun to write, and plus I had an excuse for Sheppard to wander by and join in (poor, poor Sheppard). And no, I don't know why the Ancients invented a device that simultaneously messes up time and makes people catch the dumbass; I think it's because they were dicks.

Narcissus in Bloom, John/John, it's not really gay, is it?; 629 words
Oh, Sheppard. He must have read a lot of Heinlein when he was a kid; no doubt it warped his brain. I mean, I don't blame him though, cause I'm nowhere near as hot as him, but I'd still totally do alternate me.

Extended versions:
Press-Ganged, Daniel Jackson/John/Rodney, geektalk; 1332 words
Writing Daniel gives me fits. Fits! But it's worth it for (YET MORE) slutty Sheppard.

Fight It, John/Rodney, he is mine, handcuffs, dirty talk; 1732 words, non-con
How did I manage to write a non-con fic that includes everything I just got done saying I didn't like about non-con? Fuck it, it's hot, and that's what matters. Writing dirty talk still gives me the heebies and also the jeebies, however. I also hate the title; by the time I finished it, I really just wanted to entitle it "THIS IS A STORY ABOUT FUCKIN" and go about my business.

I am awfully profane this week.


3 crossovers
10 SGA stories (in 13 parts)
15 pairings, threesomes, or foursomes
9 new pairings, threesomes, or foursomes
50 uses of the word fuck or one of its variants

2 Nahuatl assignments that didn't get turned in on time because I was writing porn (actually this is not entirely true; they were also late because I was freaking out about my inability to speak Nahuatl- it's cool, I figured it out)
3 hours that I will spend spent in the bioarch lab tonight instead of writing, because I am all porned out

11313 words, holy fucking shit
Tags: challenges, fic_roundup, porn
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