January 3rd, 2005

marvel - purple barton

Fandom annoyances: the Hellsing edition.

1. Goddamnit, people, enough with the Engrish already! I know romanizations are tricky, but there are already 5 manga volumes and 13 episodes dubbed in English.
1.1. Calling him Arucard will just cause people to snicker derisively about Rord Dracura.
1.2. Seras Victoria does not start with a C.
1.3. It's Dornez. I swear to God. I know some of the official anime merchandise spells it Ddollneazz. That just hurts to look at. It's Dornez. Trust me.
1.4. Walter likes Dune and has evil tendencies. That's why it's the Harkonnen. Spelling it Halconnen makes Frank Herbert cry, which is especially sad because he's dead.
1.5. Please spell it Jan, not Yan. Kohta Hirano even made a little note about it.
1.6. Bubbancy. Don't argue. Bubbancy.

2. For the love of all that is holy, Pip is not Australian. Let Erin from And Shine Heaven Now explain it to you.

3. Ok, we get it. Vampires are cool to the touch. It is not necessary to mention it in every. damn. fic. Yes, it is sort of cool, but it is getting old. This goes double for smut.
3.1. Let me add that while this is canon for other fandoms, cold vampires are fanon for Hellsing. Your particular iteration of vampyric character may be warm if you think they should be warm.
3.2. Even if you accept that vampires are cold, well fed and recently fed vampires should be warm. Just sayin'. See 3.1 if you disagree.

4. Here's a type of sentence I've seen in many a Seras fic: "The young vampire did blah". Stop and think before you write this. Were she to read your fic, would Seras like it if you referenced her in this fashion? Or would it make her uncomfortable? In my opinion, it is OOC to refer to her, at least before manga volume 6 or so, in such a manner.
4.1. The term "draculina" is an insult that Anderson used towards Seras. Referencing her as such is like calling Integra "English sow", and you know she'll cut a bitch for that.

5. We don't all speak German. Yes, it is very neat when Millennium speaks German, but please, at the very least make an author's note translating what the hell they're saying.

I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones getting on my ass right now.
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marvel - purple barton


A review left at The Pit of Voles on my bit of Anderson and orphan fluff:

"YES!! that was so great. short and sweet, keeping anderson true to character and making it funny, thanks"

And this, my friends, is why fanfic is great. Cause I loved writing this piece, and I feel like I just made somebody's whole day with it.

Thank you, Anonymous Poster.
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