March 2nd, 2008

marvel - purple barton

Stranger than fiction?

WTF.

So, the fic I was writing for remixredux, the one that I was just tearing up yesterday? I may not be able to finish it.

I woke up at four AM, having dreamed that what happens in the remix (I'd be more specific, but, y'know, secrets and all) happened to me, and it was absolutely terrifying and miserable. I felt so awful in the dream that I don't even know if I can subject my characters to it. This has never happened to me before. I don't get it. I've written some fucked up shit, but I'd never had nightmares over it. I've killed my favorite characters, I've broken them up, I've put them in all sorts of unlawful sexual situations, often against their wills. And this fic, it really isn't that bad- no non-con, no incest, no violence, no chan, no zombies, no nothing. It's honestly kind of old meme for the fandom.

So tell me, Flist, has this ever happened to you? Do you dream about what you write? Have you ever started writing something, only to look at it and decide it was a bridge too far? Am I a pussy if I write something else, even knowing it's not going to be as good as the planned fic?

I think I need some chocolate and a lie down.
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