November 6th, 2011

marvel - purple barton

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Rodney bolted through the door to John's quarters, waving the door desperately shut behind him and falling back against it, his arms outstretched to bar it.

John looked up from his well-worn trade of Quiver. "Can I help you?"

"Hide me!" Rodney hissed.

He raised an eyebrow. "From what?"

"I thought it was a good idea!" Rodney protested. "Everybody loves Groupon! We certainly didn't have a problem when we started our own craigslist!"

"Rodney," John said slowly. "What did you do?"

"I just wanted to encourage people to participate," he said. "So I offered them two hours of my very valuable time for $30." John gave him a look. "For normal things! Repairs! Light cleaning! Stray math problems!"

John tried so hard not to laugh. "Is that not what they wanted?"

"They want to do things to me! Naked things! Very naked things! Zelenka owns a flogger made of Cat-5 cables!" he shouted, and John lost it. "This is so not funny."

"No," John said, wiping his eyes. "It's hilarious."

"I hate you so much right now," Rodney said.

John gave him a faintly wicked smile. "I guess this is a bad time to tell you I bought three of them."

"Oh, uh, well," Rodney said, his eyes going wide. "That's, um- I guess you'll want to collect soon, won't you?" He looked John up and down. "I suppose you won't be wanting me to do any math for you?" he said hopefully.

He grinned. "Only if you wanted to help me multiply twenty-three by three."

Rodney rolled his eyes, but he licked his lips too. "I can do that one without a calculator."

"Come over here and show me," John said, setting his comic aside.

(This ridiculousness brought to you by the Nashville Deal of the Day. I, as usual, apologize for nothing.)

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