January 31st, 2012

marvel - purple barton

I was just about to get my 8 year chip from Anglophiles Anonymous, then this happened

1. I'm cleaning up my oldest fic, right? Because I want everything from FF.net, Restricted Section, AFF, my journal, w/e, all on the AO3. This is the stuff from way back, the stuff that was the very first fanfiction I wrote consciously, knowing what I was doing what writing fanfiction.

So I did most of this work a year ago, and I imported all but just a few things from FF.net. It is important to note that I didn't read any of them; I just imported all of them and tossed them up. But oh god, there were a few things I had missed, and I read them. Oh my god that was an error in judgment. I just, goddamn.

But now, I've put up everything I can find (though now that I think about it I might need to recheck bloody_shorts), except for this one story.

It is, without a doubt, bar none, the worst story I have ever written in my entire life. This is not 100% shocking, because it was the second story I ever wrote, following my (adorable and harmless) Mary Sue, and it was the first porn I ever wrote. I remember having SUCH TROUBLE because I was 17 AND THREE QUARTERS YOU GUYS and it was SO SCARY to click the "I am over 18" button because I was afraid of the INTERNET POLICE.

You think I'm lying. You sit here and read all these kinky stories I been leaving all over the place, and you do not understand that I am a Good Girl at heart. I have been known to follow the Letter and not the Spirit, is what I'm saying.

So I don't know what to do about this story. I thought it wasn't available anywhere on the internet except behind a login at Restricted Section, but I just found it on my AFF profile. I'm so torn, because I'm a completist, and I feel that you have to own your mistakes. But y'all, this, this may just be too bad. We may have crossed the Rubicon on this one. I'll damn sure link to the sporking if I do post it, though (if I can find it, it's not tagged on the comm I know it's in).

So IDK. I'm not linking you to it if I post it. You can find it your damn selves.

2. WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME OF THE EXISTENCE OF CAN'T SMEG, WON'T SMEG. YOU ARE ALL FIRED.

Ohhh my god, you have no idea how many fond memories I have of being a tiny Sabine, sitting in front of BBCA watching Can't Cook, Won't Cook and Ready Steady Cook. And if you didn't watch it on BBCA, you missed the best part, because it had American translations at the bottom. Like, it would have helpful little bars when they used a non-American term for something ("The courgette is also known as a zucchini!") or some food item that's not commonly used in America ("Crème fraîche is similar to sour cream" or "Clotted cream is... okay look we're not a hundred percent on what it is, but it tastes pretty good, so let's roll with it.").

That plus Red Dwarf = one ECSTATIC Sabine.

3. Random: Don't tell me what it is, but do you have your credit/debit card number memorized? We're talking about the number proper, from the front of the card, not the account number.

I have always had my debit card number memorized, and this seems to blow people's minds. Seriously, though, y'all, if you have a MasterCard from an American bank (regional banks, at least), the first eight numbers for any card number drawn on a specific account are always going to be the same, and the last four you need all the time for verification; it's only four numbers you have to memorize.

Why is this hard? Am I just being weird again?

I am particularly perplexed by this, because my mother thinks this is an amazing skill, and she has Masters (Masterses?) in both math and accounting.

4. So this is going around again, pocky_slash being the proximal cause: Post the first sentence (or three) from every WIP you're currently working on, even if it's very short. Then invite people to ask questions about your WIPs. With any luck, the motivation to take that WIP one step closer to completion will appear as if by magic!

The "first" part doesn't work for me- can't be buggered- But here are some bits anyway. I think this is all XMFC, but it may please you to note that the Atlantis story farthest up the queue is labeled "what what (in the butt)". As one does.

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