June 27th, 2016

marvel - purple barton

The Last Five Years (Or: That Violence Post)

It started with The Hunger Games.

2010-2011 was a pretty rough time for me, mentally speaking. I spent a lot of it as an anxious wreck, and even though I was medicated, it was only working so well. For a while, it felt like literally anything could trigger a panic attack for me, but nothing was as sure-fire as depictions of violence. Didn't matter if they were fictional or real; if it involved people being hurt, I couldn't deal with it.

In early 2011, Mockingjay had been out for a couple months, and things were revving up for the first movie. Friends were recommending it to me, but the idea of a book/movie about a bunch of kids trying to kill each other turned my stomach.

Then I thought to myself, "I could just not."

It's a thought that probably shouldn't have felt like a revelation, but it did. I could just sit it out, let things pass me by, trade missing out on things I might enjoy for not having panic attacks.

Eventually, things changed in my life, and the panic attacks tapered off. I never went back to violence, though; my life was better without it, so I just decided to keep going. Collapse )

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