The Midnight Rider (sabinelagrande) wrote,
The Midnight Rider
sabinelagrande

I remember when I used to sleep nights. Good times.

1. Am finally making my way through Beyond Heaving Bosoms, which I highly recommend. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect when I bought the book; I don't think I even read the summary, because I just really like the Bitches and wanted to support them. It's a much weightier read than I expected from a Book From The Blog- there's a whole chapter analyzing the prevalence and symbolism of rape in romance, for example- and, cause the Bitches wrote it, it's also hilariously funny in places.

1a. Reading it made me realize that my massive and ill-concealed love for Weir/Caldwell is due in no small part to the fact that they're totally a romance novel couple. I mean, other than the fact that they're both too old to be romance novel leads, they could totally be Expys from any contemporary romance about two rival businesses/warring factions/etc. They've both got that whole super headstrong thing going. He's the voice of tradition, and she's the firebrand; and sometimes he's kind of a dick, and sometimes she's Too Stupid To Live; but it works, especially because- and this is a welcome departure from the formula- no matter how much they fight, he totally respects her as a human being. There's so much potential for, as the Bitches put it, "I don't wanna love you. I don't wanna like you. I can't stop thinking about your hair, dammit?!"

But my problem with Weir/Caldwell in fic (other than the fact that there is almost none of it) is the same problem I consistently have with Sheppard/Weir fic- it seems like the first thing to go is the power imbalance, and with it goes pretty much all of the reason I find it hot. And I sort of understand that with Sheppard and Weir, because they really don't fight all that often. But Weir and Caldwell? Jesus Christ. And, I mean, Sheppard/Weir is "Damn, would you look at that eyesex," but Caldwell/Weir is, "Holy shit, this is an adult situation."

THEY ARE PRACTICALLY HUMPING ON SCREEN. JUST GO WITH IT.

I mean, if I wanted to read about Weir and lovely cuddly lurve, I'd totally go read Weir/Zelenka, which is like the cuddliest pairing of them all.

This is a lot of text to say that somebody needs to write a romance novel pastiche/fusion starring Weir and Caldwell, STAT.

Until that happens, I'll be off reading Temporary Engagement. Again. For the third time. Did I mention I love romance novel fusions?

2. Does anybody know if there are any pictures from that one photoshoot- you know, that one where David Hewlett is wearing that green shirt that makes him look like a skateboarder edible really thin, and everybody is wearing their civvies, except poor Mitch Pileggi, cause apparently Caldwell came all the way to the Pegasus Galaxy without a change of clothes- where Joe and David are standing next to each other?

My OCD is showing; I feel like despite having watched every episode of the damn show (even Whispers and Enemy at the Gates), I can't accurately judge John and Rodney's body types relative to one another. Part of it is that their whole costume department really deserved to be fired, from a cannon, into the sun (WHAT IN THE HELL IS CARTER WEARING, WHY DOES JOHN LOOK LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO TOUCH HER INAPPROPRIATELY, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH JOHN'S SHOES, WHY IS TEYLA WEARING MOTORCYCLE BOOTS); they consistently put Rodney in stuff that made him look fatter broader than David Hewlett actually is (I have this same problem with House. House is bigger than Hugh Laurie is. It's a fact). That shoot is like the only time Rodney actually wears clothes that are remotely close-fitting, and of course there are no pictures of John and Rodney together.

And of course I could probably find, like, a billion pictures of David Hewlett and Joe Flanigan OOC standing next to each other in street clothes, but then my brain would go, "Joe and David != John and Rodney, ACCURACY ERROR: ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?"

This has nothing to do with porn, Big Bang, or the porny part of Big Bang. Why would you even think such a thing. I am appalled.
Tags: books, meta, rambling, rants, romance, sga
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