So, way back in the day, thedeadparrot wrote this House genderswap, the premise of which was that everybody in the world suddenly switched genders. And she threw the verse open for anybody to play with, and play they did. I was writing a Cameron/Wilson/Cuddy/House bit that was supposed to go right after The One Where There Are Three Of Them, but, for whatever reason, I never finished it. I think it was the blocking, mostly; at the time, I had hardly written any smut at all, much less foursome smut. Also, it was from Cameron's POV, which has always been difficult for me. So, without further ado, and now that I've written notes that are probably longer than the story-
The One Where They're Girls and Boys
Her pager goes off, and the message is clear: James – 911 Home. Either the cat has exploded, or her fiance needs sex, now. Just a little darkly, she thinks she’d better get home before he gets it from somebody else.
The door is unlocked and there’s no fire truck, so it must be the latter.
There he is, both wrists tied securely to the headboard, a sheet draped loosely over his midsection, leaving his breasts exposed. James is blushing deeper than she thinks she’s ever seen anybody blush before.
“Surprise?” he squeaks out as a set of hands appear on her hips. Alison almost flails around, but she realizes they’re Cuddy’s almost immediately. Cuddy pulls her in close, her erection sliding against Cameron’s ass.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
“Nothing, yet,” comes the reply, half-shouted from the next room. Cameron groans. House. Obviously.
When he hobbles out of the bathroom, he’s completely disheveled, hair all tossed about, cheeks flushed. He’s wearing this pink lacy push up bra and tiny skirt; the combination would be completely ridiculous on him if he wasn’t so busy looking fucking gorgeous.
“So good of you to join us!”
“If I knew you were coming, I’d have baked a cake,” she says dryly, trying to ignore that Cuddy’s hands are sneaking around to the front of her slacks.
“I’ve already eaten,” House says with a leer, and James’s face gets even redder.
Cameron doesn’t have a good response for that.
“Relax,” House says nonchalantly. “Since he’s already cheating on you with me, and you’re already cheating on him with her-”
“Hey!” James interjects, angry.
House ignores him. “Then this is much more economical.”
“This is fucked up,” Cameron says in half-hearted rebuttal.
Cuddy starts massaging her ass, sliding two lubed fingers inside her slowly. With the precision that only years of medical school or streetwalking can provide, she finds Cameron’s prostate almost immediately, making her dance and jerk on Cuddy’s fingers. That, combined with House’s very talented mouth around her, is perilously close to pushing her over the edge.
She can only stand it for a few moments before untangling herself and sliding down, putting House’s good leg up over her shoulder. House guides her in, free hand roughly groping his breast. Cuddy gives Cameron just a moment to get comfortable before pushing into her ass.
She’s going to die. She is going to die right here, right now, and House and Cuddy are going to have to put James back in his clothes and have him explain to the cops about how they killed her dead with sex.