The Midnight Rider (sabinelagrande) wrote,
The Midnight Rider

Ha ha, puns.

Title: Miniwar
Summary: Ten drabbles!
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 1000
Rating/Warnings: G-R, mentions of violence
Pairing: John/Rodney
A/N: Written for Team War in mcshep_match's Drabble Tree Challenge. Some linked, some standalone.

"It did grow, didn't it?" John said in amazement, staring down at what had been the botany lab.

"You know, this happened at the SGC a few years back," Rodney told him, kicking away a leafy vine that was threatening to encroach on the balcony.

"What did they do?"

Rodney frowned. "I have no idea, actually."

"Can we kill it with fire?"

"Was that a real suggestion, or did you just want to say 'kill it with fire'?"

John shrugged. "Can't it be both?"

"At least it's not spraying sex pollen."

John sighed, a little wistful. "Those were good times."

"Rodney, don't-"

"I haven't got much choice, have I? It's me, or all of you."

"A few more minutes, McKay, just hold on for a little longer! There's still time for-"

"No, there isn't, Sheppard! You have to listen to me, because this is important! It may be the last thing that I-"

"We're not there yet, Rodney!"

"We are there! We live there! We are never not there!"

"Don't give up on me this easily, Rodney. Don't do this!"

"Sheppard- John. I have to say- what I mean is- You have to know that I love-"

"McKay? McKay?! RODNEY!"


"We are there!" Teyla shouted, tossing away the blowtorch and stepping aside so Ronon could kick open the hole she'd created and drag a startled Rodney out.

"How did you-"

There was a hissing noise as the gas was released. "Run!" John shouted, pushing Rodney ahead of himself and bolting for the door, getting them all through before sealing off the section.

"Live to fight another day after all," Rodney panted, collapsing against the wall.

John caught him by the shirt and dragged him close, too breathless to do anything but press his lips to Rodney's cheek. "And other stuff."

The leader's hair was green, John noticed. The woman's next to him was brilliant purple, hanging halfway down her back; beside her was a man with a truly impressive black mohawk.

"Have we come to the anime planet?" Rodney asked him, sotto voce.

"Wish I knew," John replied.

"I'm sure this is a very happy day for you," he said, smirking. "Returning to your people and everything."

"Welcome!" the leader said, opening his arms wide to John and totally ignoring Rodney.

Before John could respond, the leader looked up and stepped around him, without a word.

Ronon loved that mission.

"Trouble in paradise," Doctor Simpson said, nodding towards Sheppard, alone at dinner for the first time in weeks.

"You didn't hear this from me," Sergeant Marquez replied, leaning over the table. "But a little bird told me that McKay was going to propose."

"No. Really?"

"Had the whole thing planned out. Cake, ring, Athosian bagpipes or whatever. And the colonel didn't show."

Her eyes got wide. "What happened?"

"McKay radioed him, but Sheppard said he'd been too tired to hang out. John hadn’t known it was Rodney’s proposal he’d turned down."

"Does he know now?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."


"We can't die!" Rodney screamed. "You still have to marry me!"

John very nearly tripped over his own feet. "You can't just say shit like that when we're running from a dinosaur!"

"Fuck you! I wouldn't have to if you'd showed up for your own damn proposal!"

"What are you talking about?! I wasn't going to do it for another two days!"


"It was supposed to be a surprise, jackass!"

"I was gonna do it three nights ago! Ring! Candles! Wine! Music!" Rodney panted. "Wasted! Twice!"

"Shut up and run!" John ordered. "I'm not getting married in the infirmary!"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "You can believe whatever you want, but I certainly-"

John raised a hand for silence. He held up his bottle of KY and set it on the table along with the last Snicker’s bar from his stash. "Choose one."

Rodney frowned. "What kind of arcane torture is this?"

"I'm trying to prove a point."

"This is absurd! Am I picking a snack or a sex aid? Because that stuff does not taste like-"

John leaned forward. "Pick one in ten seconds, or I leave."

"Lube!" Rodney yelped.

"See?" John said, smiling. "You're always smarter under pressure."

"This is my girlfriend, Karrin," Rodney said excitedly, showing John a picture of a leggy blonde. "She's an ayurvedic yoga instructor and a volunteer fire fighter."

John cocked an eyebrow at him. "I said subtle, McKay."

He sighed huffily. "Are you sure it wouldn't be easier to come out?"

John rolled his eyes. "Do the letters DADT mean anything to you?"

"Okay, fine, uh-" He snapped his fingers. "Her name is Molly. She's a librarian, she's got one leg, and I don't have any pictures of her because- because she thinks cameras will steal her soul."

John frowned contemplatively. "Better."

Rodney really sucks at languages- Ancient, in particular. That's okay, though, because he hates the Ancients in general. He especially hates that stupid name for them; they don't seem all that ancient when they're snubbing Rodney at meals.

Fucking time travel.

They don't have bulletin boards, so Rodney tacks up the notices anywhere he damn well pleases. They're not fancy, just a photo of Sheppard, THIS IS WHAT I'VE LOST printed across the bottom in bold capitals. It's a pretty stupid idea, honestly, but he'd really like to leave before the Wraith war starts, and he's not going without John.


Sixteen. It takes fucking sixteen planets before he finds John. Turns out some slavers thought he'd make the prettiest little light switch.

Rodney makes them wish they'd stayed lost.

"Lost everything," John says, half-delerious, clinging to Rodney. "Lost my boots, lost my wristband, lost my tags, lost my GDO."

"It's okay," he murmurs, brushing his lips against John's temple.

"This is what I've kept," he says, and when he opens his hand, he's got the control crystal for the time jumper's DHD.

Rodney almost cries in relief. "Let's go home."

"Thank fuck," John swears, burying his face in his shirt.

A/N: Read the thread for more on John and Rodney's messy proposals and infirmary wedding from [info - personal] lavvyan, [info - personal] perspi, and others!

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Tags: challenges, fic, mcshep_match, sga, slash
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